The current rankings & scoring system
5 = Outstanding, one of the best albums you’ve ever heard. You’d definitely pay £100+ to see ’em, buy it on vinyl or get a tattoo of the band.
4 = Recommended, in fact you’d be prepared to have it shouted loudly across a crowded pub with some rough-looking fellas in earshot that you like it. You’d definitely recommend for someone else to listen to it.
3 = Respectable, you can see a lot of good stuff in it and it’s clearly a work of intelligent people, you probably enjoyed it but something was missing. You may listen to it again if it came on randomly but wouldn’t buy it or bore a friend with it.
2 = Poor. Pretty flat, the music was boring, no particular structure, you’d actively tell people to avoid it, probably a self-indulgent, pretentious mess. Has a lot of ukelele in. Ugh.
1 = Empty. Honestly, how, I mean why was this recorded? A bet?! The album has caused mental trauma, you wasted an hour of your life listening to it. You had to comfort eat afterwards. Tragic.